(Note: Brad dictated the above sentence to us, including the exclamation point. We never get that excited about droolers).
In order to direct that abundance of energy to the proper channelsand in the spirit of the holiday seasonwe, the interns at BradParksBooks.com, have created "The 12 Days of Carter Ross." These are twelve things you can do to show your support the boss's first book and, more importantly, keep the interns employed through at least the end of the holiday shopping season.
(Note No. 2: In the past, we've heard people say they don't know when we're kidding. We're serious about this one. You really can do all twelve of these things. Oh, we're serious about wanting to stay employed, too. In this economy, it's not easy to find a job that lets you spend most of the day playing Tetris).
So, without further delay, The 12 Days of Carter Ross...
TWELVE LIBRARY DRUMMINGS.
It's Bum Rush the Library Day! Go to your local library and ask if they've ordered the book that Library Journal calls "the most hilariously funny and deadly serious mystery debut since Janet Evanovich's One for the Money." Actually, you don't have to say it all cheesy like that. That's just how Brad does it.
ELEVEN CARDS A PIPING.
Share the joy of Carter: Volunteer to include Official Faces of the Gone Holiday Cards with your regular holiday greeting card mailing to all your friends and family. The cards are lightweight, handsomeother than the photo of Brad on the backand won't bump up the postage if you slip them in an envelope with a regular photo card. Interested? E-mail email@example.com and we'll get some mailed out to you.
TEN FRIENDS A LEAPING.
It's Tell A Friend About Carter Ross Day! The rules are simple: Pick someone you know is an avid readerhopefully it's a friend, but if you're thinking the book is going to be a bomb, pick an enemyand ask them if they'd like to read a book that Publishers Weekly calls... oh, just ask them if they're interested in getting to know a new author.
NINE LADIES DANCING.
Want to make sure you get a signed first edition copy of FACES OF THE GONE? There are nine ladies (give or take a lady or five) working at Brad's favorite local independent bookseller, Twice Told Tales Bookstore, who will be happy to help. Simply follow this link or call them at (804) 693-9209 and order your copy. This is not an e-commerce siteyou'll eventually have to talk with a real person or e-mail them to complete the order. Want an individualized inscription? No problem. Just tell Nancy Halstead or any of the other friendly members of the TTTBS staff exactly what you'd like the inscription to say. Or instruct them to have the author wing it. Brad will be happy to oblige. He's well-trained that way.
EIGHT FACEBOOK FRIENDS A MILKING.
That's right: It's time to milk your Facebook contacts. Send out a status update to all your friends urging them to become fans of Brad Parks Books on Facebook. Not on Facebook? Oh. We didn't know there were people like that left. Okay, you can skip to...
SEVEN INTERNS A SWIMMING (IN THEIR OWN SELF PITY).
It's Tell A Friend About the BradParksBooks.com Interns Day. This, of course, is our favorite day of the year, mostly because we're tired of slaving in anonymity. So pick a friend, direct them to this link and tell them to sign up for the newsletter so they, too, can partake in all of our zany hi-jinks.
SIX ANXIETY ATTACKS ALLAYING.
'Tis the night before release day, which means Brad likely won't be getting a wink of sleep. Help him conquer his insomnia by mailing him all your unused or lightly used Lunesta pills. (Okay, we said we'd be serious. We're kidding about this one. Send Xanax instead).
FIVE GOLDEN FACES!!!
It's the big day! December 8: FACES OF THE GONE hits bookstore shelves. So go forth and buy multiple copies. (Note: By receiving this e-mail, you implicitly and explicitly agree to indemnify The Author and His Interns from any damages or injuries that that may occur during the huge stampedes to bookstores that will inevitably take place). And for any of you in Christchurch, come celebrate with Brad at the World Debut Party in the Bishop Brown Board Room at 6:30 p.m.
FOUR SNEAKY BIRDS.
It's Give Carter Ross Better Bookstore Placement Day! Just return to the same store where you bought your copy yesterday and surreptitiously move FACES OF THE GONE to one of those desirable slots at the front of the store. Put it on top of Sarah Palin's book. She's gotten enough face time already.
THREE... UHH... FRENCH... UH, ACTUALLY, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FRANCE:
Come to the Newark Public Library for "An Evening With Brad Parks," co-hosted by the library and the Rutgers-Newark Institute on Ethnicity Culture and the Modern Experience. With wine, cheese, a jazz band and a host of illustrious guests already committed to attend, this is shaping up to be the Newark literary event of the season. (Mostly because Philip Roth has already come and gone). Don't miss out!
TWO 'WOOD HUBS.
Hang out with Brad at Words Bookstore in The WoodMaplewood, that isstarting at 7:30 p.m. and going until. . . well, probably whenever they announce last call at St. James Gate, the pub next door. Should be a fun evening!
AND AN AUTHOR AMIDST THE DEBRIS.
In the middle of a string where he'll make 13 appearances in 12 days, Brad will probably be a wreck. So why not pick from one of these events and stop in and say hello? By this point, he could probably use a friendly face.
The BradParksBooks.com Interns