It's the national release day for THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, that much-awaited moment when many tens of Brad's fans will flood the bookstores in anticipation of his latest masterpiece. At the offices of BradParksBooks.com, the hard-working interns were preparing for this by... hang on a second.
"Zach, what are you doing?" asked Sarah, the smart intern. "We have a book to promote."
Zach, the silly intern, was staring at a computer screen with an unusual degree of concentration. Behind him was a wall-sized, hand-made poster with the word "REBA" crossed out in red marker.
"What's going on?" Sarah asked.
"I'm launching a Reba McEntire smeer campaign," he said.
"Why?" asked Sarah.
"Because of this," Zach said.
He handed her a copy of Local Scoop, a Virginia lifestyle magazine. On the cover, it listed "Celebrity Sightings: Reba McEntire, Dorris Buffett, Brad Parks."
"What's wrong?" Sarah said. "Someone actually considers Brad a celebrity. That's terrific! Misguided... but terrific!"
Maggie, the clueless intern, piped up: "Who's Dorris Buffett again?"
"Warren's sister," Zach snapped. "I'm not worried about her. But Reba. Reba is a threat. I mean, look, they gave her first billing."
"Well, don't you think that's kind of appropriate?" asked Sarah. "Hasn't she sold, like, 70 million records or something like that?"
"All the more reason we have to destroy her," Zach said. "Brad is a celebrity now. And all celebrities step on a few necks on their way to the top. It's the American way. We have to bring Reba down!"
"Zach," Sarah started. "I don't think..."
"Aha! I got it!" Zach said, pointing at the computer screen. "It says here one of her most famous songs, 'Fancy' was originally recorded by Bobbie Gentry two decades earlier. She stole it! One of Reba's biggest hits wasn't even hers!"
"That's called a cover and recording artists do it all the time," Sarah said. "Anyone who reads the liner notes would know that."
"I don't care! In this day and age, it's all about the whiff of scandal," Zach said. "Quick, fire up the Twitter account. Get the Facebook page in the harness! We'll have Reba ruined by lunchtime!"
Riiiiight. Anyhow, Zach's malice aside, the interns really are excited that people can finally get their hands on the latest entry in the award-winning Carter Ross series. The reviews have been glowing. And the interns have worked hard, getting the boss all polished up and ready to launch on The Tangled Up in Khaki Tour. They even put new tires on the Book Tour Mobile.
The interns hope you can come and visit Brad on the road—he gets lonely otherwise—but if you can't make it out to see him at your local bookstore, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR is also available on-line through retailers like IndieBound, Amazon, Books-A-Million or Barnes & Noble.
And if you should happen to have your own sighting of Reba McEntire sometime soon, don't tell Zach. It might get ugly.
Happy Release Day,
The BradParksBooks.com Interns