The first-ever, super-spectacular, totally awesome BradParksBooks.com giveaway contest began with a yelp.
It came from Maggie, the clueless intern, who had been sitting in the corner, being careful not to tax either of her brain cells, when she suddenly sat bolt upright.
"Oh... my... GOSH!" she exclaimed.
"What is it?" asked Sarah, the smart intern.
"According to our website, people who sign up for our newsletter receive, quote, 'information about giveaways, contests and Official Carter Ross merchandise.'"
"You've been working here for three years and you're just now reading the website?" Sarah asked.
"You can read?" asked Peter, the slothful intern.
Ignoring both of them, Maggie continued in a panic: "But... but... We've never done any giveaways! It's right there on the website saying we do, but we don't. We're going to get sued for false advertising!"
Zach, the silly intern, couldn't resist. "Let me get this straight: we regularly send out press materials suggesting Brad is one of the greatest mystery writers of his generation, but we're going to get sued for false advertising because we've never done a giveaway?"
Maggie, now in full panic mode, began sifting through some boxes. "Surely, we must have some Official Carter Ross merchandise in here somewhere."
"Not really," Zach said. "We tried to do that Brad Parks Bobblehead doll that one time, but we never gave it out. The head was too big. He ended up looking like a khaki-clad garden gnome."
"There must be something," Maggie pleaded.
"Well, we do have these. We could give these away," Sarah said, holding up five tickets to the inaugural FanFest, the exciting new event being hosted by select members of the International Thriller Writers at ThrillerFest on July 12 in New York City. It's a chance for readers to rub elbows with bestselling authors like Lee Child, John Lescroart, Joseph Finder, and many more.
"And Brad," Sarah said. "Don't forget Brad."
Right. And Brad.
So if you want to be one of the five lucky winners of the first-ever, super-spectacular, totally awesome BradParksBooks.com giveaway contest, simply write a heartfelt note to email@example.com explaining why you ought to win.
Acceptable reasons include: because you know how to spell Brad's name, because you once bought one of his books and didn't immediately try to resell it at a used bookstore, and because you'll actually be able to make it to New York City on July 12.
"We should also point out that Brad only has twenty-three fans," Zach said. "So your chances of being one of the five winning fans are actually quite good."
(Editor's Note: Because readers sometimes have a hard time knowing when the interns are being serious, let it be said: Yes. This giveaway is for real. The winners will be notified of their victory on July 1. So don't dawdle).
In other news, the title for the fifth Carter Ross thriller has been decided: It will be called THE PLAYER. It will be released March 4, 2014, but for those who really like to get a jump on their shopping, it can already be pre-ordered at finer book retailers everywhere.
If you just can't wait that long to read more Brad, he's written the cover story of this month's Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine. It's called "Two for One" and it's not a Carter Ross story... but the interns think you'll enjoy it all the same.
Good luck in the contest,
The BradParksBooks.com Interns
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P.S. For breathtakingly regular updates on all of Brad's media appearances, "like" him on Facebook. And don't forget to share the joy that is The Scoop, the official newsletter of BradParksBooks.com, by telling your friends to sign up here.