|2014 Lefty Award Winner!|
The telephone was set up on the middle of the conference table in the offices of BradParksBooks.com. The interns were arrayed around it.
It was Zach, the silly intern, who called the meeting to order.
"Okay, everyone, thanks for coming," Zach said. "As you all know, Brad won the Lefty Award at Left Coast Crime, making him the first author since Janet Evanovich to win back-to-back Lefty Awards . So it's time to call her interns and let them know we're gunning for them."
"Zach, this is ridiculous," said Sarah, the smart intern. "Why don't we just—"
"Shhh!" Zach said. "I'm dialing."
After two rings, they heard:
"Thank you for calling Janet Evanovich Incorporated. Please use our automated system to select from the following options."
"Wow, fancy," said Maggie, the clueless intern. "We don't even have an answering machine that works right."
"To order Janet Evanovich's latest book, press or say one. To complain that Katherine Heigl was an absolutely terrible choice to play Stephanie Plum in the movie, press or say two. To suggest a new way for Stephanie's car to blow up, press or say three. For all other matters, press or say four."
Sarah tried again: "Zach, really—"
"Shh!" Zach said again and pressed the 4 button.
"Please state the nature of your call in a few words."
"I would like to gloat," Zach said.
"Did you say, 'I would fight a goat?'"
"No, no," Zach said, slowing down his words. "I... would... like... to... gloat."
"Did you say, 'Hobo, I could slit my throat?"
"No, 'gloat,' you dumb phone system. 'Gloat!'"
"Oh, I understand. You're an author who would like a quote from Janet Evanovich. Hold please."
"No, no, wait! That's not—"
"We're sorry. Janet Evanovich is not offering quotes at this time. Please call back in 2019. Thank you."
And then the call disconnected. Sarah rolled her chair over to Zach and patted his hand. "Zach, honey, let's just show some silly pictures of Brad, like we usually do, and forget about the gloating. Okay?"
"Okay," Zach said, hefting a sigh. "Go ahead."
And so, yes, you can "checkout" that Brad has won the Lefty:
... Even if he darn near lost it in a poker game with Gary Phillips:
You really "otter" celebrate a Lefty win:
... Because it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of:
We also have Brad showing his usual high level of maturity on a panel:
... And finishing off his serenade of Sue Grafton, to the delight of a packed crowd:
And, finally, a nice picture for Brad's mom:
(Thanks to Jen Forbus of Jen's Book Thoughts and Left Coast Crime photographer Darrell Hoemann for the pictures).
In other news, THE PLAYER continues to get glittering reviews . The Washington Post gave it a rave, saying, "'The Player' is a highly entertaining tale and one of the best portraits of a working reporter since Michael Connelly's 'The Poet.'"
The Richmond Times-Dispatch also sang Brad's praises: "While he spins a serious yarn, he injects enough humor that generates grins. But remember: Grins expose teeth, and 'The Player' delivers a bone-crunching bite."
Speaking of singing, the interns would be remiss if they didn't pass along this link of Brad performing his attack serenade of Sue Grafton, author of the mega-bestselling alphabet mystery series featuring Kinsey Millhone ("A is for Alibi," etc.). With all due apologies to Dion, it's called "Keep Away From Alphabet Sue."
And, on that note, the interns probably need to go off and write a letter to Ms. Grafton. It will be titled "A is for Apologize."
With Sincere Regret,
The BradParksBooks.com Interns
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BUY THE PLAYER: