There was a surfeit of good news thrumming around the offices of BradParksBooks.com.
The Last Act—which Brad has called the most surprising book he's ever written—is exactly one month away from publication.
And Brad's not the only one excited: Library Journal gave it a starred review, saying it "packs on the suspenseful surprises and plot reversals that made Parks a mainstay on the best-seller lists."
In addition, Closer Than You Know, which was named one of the best mystery/thrillers of 2018 by Kirkus Reviews, releases today in paperback, meaning not only can you read the book that The Richmond Times-Dispatch calls "a top-notch thriller," you can fold it up and use it as a fly-swatter, too.
Beyond that, in the coming weeks the interns will have major news to announce regarding The Last Act that is sure to add to the excitement that Brad's many tens of fans are already feeling.
So the interns were already busily swept up in the last-minute preparations.
Except for Zach, the silly intern.
He was sitting at his desk, his head resting in his hands, a study in frustration.
"Come on, come on, come on!" he moaned.
"What's the matter, Zach?" asked Maggie, the clueless intern.
"I'm trying to come up with a name for Brad's next book tour and I'm drawing a blank."
"How about the 'Please Show Up Or I'll Be Lonely' Tour?" suggested Peter, the slothful intern, who was watching videos of squirrels falling out of trees.
"That's basically every book tour," Zach said. "There has to be something that makes this tour different, that makes it pop, that gives it that special pizzazz that will have readers lining up around corners for the rare opportunity to get Brad to sign a book for them."
"Rare?" Peter said. "Brad signs cocktail napkins for bored waitresses. I'm not sure I'd call it rare to have him sign something."
"Don't split semantic hairs with me!" Zach exclaimed, then began tugging at his hairline and returning to an outward focused internal monologue. "I'm the creative engine here, the outboard motor that makes this buzzy little boat zip around our otherwise placid inland bay like a thrill ride at an amusement park where a cradle of waffle fries comes dusted with powdered sugar."
"That's quite a metaphor," said Sarah, the smart intern.
"You're telling me! So why can't I come up with a catchy name for this tour?"
"Are waffle fries really served in a cradle?" Peter asked.
"Again with the semantics!" Zach burst. "Enough from you!"
He tapped at his head. Rubbed his face. Did breathing exercises known only to cloistered Tibetan monks.
"The book is The Last Act," he said. "Act. The. Last. And . . ."
Then he looked up and said, "The Last Book Tour."
Sarah cocked an eye at him. "It's not remotely Brad's last book tour," she said. "He's 44 and in excellent health. And he already has his next book written."
"Ah, but who knows what the future holds? There's nothing like death to improve the value of an artist's work. Look what it did for Van Gogh. Gauguin. Even bed bugs were too busy for those guys when they were alive. But after they died? Ba-BOOM."
"The Last Book Tour!" Zach crowed. "Come! Behold the author! It may be the last time!"
Right. Or something like that.
In all seriousness—a rare commodity for Zach, admittedly—Brad is very excited for you to read The Last Act. And he would love to see you on tour.
No matter what name it settles on.
Yours semantically,The BradParksBooks.com Interns